Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Unless you are waiting to hear back from college

When I was in sixth grade, I returned to my old elementary school to speak at the graduation of the now graduating elementary school class, who were all one grade below me. It was customary for the student body president of the previous year to make a speech to the class the following year. As the president of the graduating elementary class of 2016, I wrote a speech about my first year experience as a middle-schooler. 

I have no idea if it was helpful to anyone but I remember feeling excited and relieved to hear from the older kids when I was graduating so I felt honored to return the favor. 

It has also been helpful to me, over the years, knowing that transitional periods are temporary. That what I don’t know right now will likely change. That I am in a very different place this year than I was at this time, last December. This is not to say that you – or anyone reading this is looking for unsolicited advice on how to navigate their freshman year of college. Just in case though, for any incoming freshman (or parents of) who may be reading, this is me, returning to the podium.

Applications suck, and in writing this almost a full year later I’ll admit that my memory on the actual application process is limited because I blocked it out. Turns out, it's a lot of work writing about your personal life and answering big questions about college, and then sending it somewhere so that others will see and review it. We did not hire anyone to help us. Me and my mom did it all on our own and many breakdowns were had in the process. 

But the good news is, I got through it all mostly in one piece. And so did she. 

If you are committed to a college now already, then congratulations! For everyone else, who haven’t decided yet, or have been deferred or rejected from schools, I know the feeling. I applied to thirteen schools, half of them early, and out of my early applications I got rejected, (not even deferred), from Every. Single. One. The truth is, the college game isn’t easy, and oftentimes it feels as though it makes no sense at all. Despite this though, it somehow always seems to work out – at least it has for me and every one of my friends. 

Think about it this way: the colleges that will accept you, really see and understand you, and the colleges that don’t, simply don’t. It’s not that you aren’t smart enough or worthy of being in said school, but more so the fact that the school might not have been the right fit for you, no matter how much you wished it was. 

I didn’t think about it this way before, but it feels a lot like dating. If the school doesn't reciprocate that same love for you, then that in itself is reason enough that the school wasn’t right, and I can promise you that there will be another school that does, and so is right for you. 

Months later, I received the remainder of my college application responses. Out of the original thirteen, I was waitlisted by one (Oberlin) and accepted to three. (Brandeis, Berklee and Emerson.) Turns out, the hardest part for me was choosing which one to go to. (Now I know how the colleges must feel.)  I toured all three of them in the Spring, and was surprised at how much my opinions of each of the schools changed in the process. (A lot of people tour schools before they get into them. I think touring schools after you get into them is the way to go.) For example, I had a very clear idea of where I had wanted to go before I toured the campuses, but after touring and further thinking about it, the college I decided on, Emerson College, was not at all what I had originally wanted or even really considered. In fact, I almost didn’t apply to Emerson at all, and switched my major last minute, submitting the application days before the deadline. 

To Emerson though, that didn’t matter. That school just happened to get me, and it wanted me there. Thinking about it more, I realized that I liked its location and the opportunities that it was able to offer me, and so, I officially committed. And I am so glad that I did. It was – and is – the perfect school for me. 

While actual technicalities in the academic and social scene will definitely differ from school to school, keep in mind that whatever you choose is likely right for you. In the case that you aren’t enjoying it, remember that it's always an option to transfer. Several of my friends didn’t enjoy the school they went to freshman year, but what that did for them was give them a pretty clear idea of their goals in college: what to expect and what they wanted, so finding somewhere to transfer to was easier for them. In transferring, they’ve been incredibly happy with the schools they chose. 

In essence, in your first year, you will either find that the school you currently attend is right for you, or, if it isn’t, you will have a much better idea of which school would be. Truly, you have to trust this process, and believe in the fact that these things do work out, whatever path you choose. 

Regardless of where you end up, your first semester at college will be one of incredible growth and transformation, perhaps one of the most dramatic you will have in your lifetime. I don’t mean that you will become a different person, more so that you will grow into who you already are. You will be treated as an adult, you will be given only as much help as you want, and only if you ask for it. You will be in charge of your own life, as it will be completely up to you to fulfill your needs and wants. 

College is full of opportunity, but like in life, this opportunity only comes to those who actively work to seek it out. You have to be assertive, you have to be confident in your own abilities, and you need to be willing to do things you don’t normally do or are uncomfortable with. Since August, I’ve become much more assertive and confident in myself, simply because I’ve found that that's what I need to be in order to succeed, and these qualities stick with you. It’s all part of the biggest lessons you learn in college. 

Sure you come to study, but some of the biggest things that college teaches you is to be on your own, to advocate for yourself, and most importantly, to be alone. 

For those of you starting school soon, I recommend a few things. One being, don’t take a year or two, or even a semester, to settle in. The moment you arrive, you should hit the ground running, and get involved in something that interests you outside of your major. It will empower you to branch out, make new friends and give yourself a purpose outside of taking classes. I also recommend finding things you enjoy doing alone by prioritizing a sort of practice of independence. Because you’re on your own for the first time in your life, you will find yourself in situations where you  have to self advocate.  You will have to learn to recognize and understand your limits. And to set your own boundaries. You will also have to learn to do activities by yourself. Taking walks, or doing work or other activities, by yourself, is perhaps one of the most valuable lessons you can learn early on. (Admittedly, it's still something that I’m working on myself. )

Some of the greatest friends I’ve made these past few months have been from going somewhere (dining hall, park, gym, etc.) by myself, going up to a group of people I don’t know, and saying hello. You’d be surprised at how many great people there are. 

This part of your life is entirely what you make of it, so be excited about it. You are in the driver's seat now, so go where you want to go! There will of course be times when you’ll be driving alone, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have other seats which you can take people in. 

So thank you for having me back on the podium, I hoped this helped at least a little bit. 

I know I’ve grown so much these past few months, and done so many incredible things I had before only dreamed of. Things start to move a bit quicker, so enjoy everything and everyone.  They really weren’t kidding when they said college was the best time of your life.